Can I just take a shower ALONE!!!

Sorry everyone I haven't blogged in a while, was a little under the weather, but much better now. Here is today's crazy ass story. A long time ago I gave up on taking a shower.  Just kidding but I did give up taking showers when my children or husband were around. Boy oh boy was I reminded why I stopped this morning.  For Pete's sake can a girl get a few minutes to herself in a nice foggy, and warm shower to clean herself, without any interruptions.  Clearly the answer is no. First it started before I even got in the shower, I didn't even have my shirt of yet and I hear.  Mom I need to go to the bathroom.  My reply was of course, go downstairs and use your fathers’ bathroom.  Ewwww no way it’s disgusting.  I couldn't argue with that; the kid was right, he probably would have caught some crazy disease down there.  I love my husband to death but he is the biggest slob I have ever met.  Am I the only one dealing with this?  Lucky for me the kid went away and into the shower I went for a nice relaxing warm, and foggy shower.  PSSHHHH Yea Right!!!!  As soon as the water hit me I feel this cold rush of air come in the bathroom.  Mom I told you I had to pee.  Ughh I hoped you went downstairs in dad’s bathroom.  No way as I was reminded again how disgusting that bathroom is. 

 Hmmm maybe I should clean my husbands bathroom for him, that would be so nice of me.  Ha that went out of my thoughts faster than it went in. See I'm not that nice of a person there is absolutely no reason to start now.  I think if I'm going to start somewhere along those lines I would rather fix the sheet on his side of the bed for him so he didn't have to.  Anyways after my middle son came into the bathroom and let all the steam out and cold air in then the older son, then my daughter.  Not only did she come in once, not twice but three fricking times THREE!!!!  I need to go to the bathroom, I can't find my jumper, I can't find my shoes.  SERIOUSLY girl you’re a hot mess get your shit together and get the hell out of here and lock the door on your way out.  

I had a doctor’s appointment to go to straight after I dropped the kids off at school.  I tell them all, you are on your own this morning.  I knew I would regret this decision the minute I said it, but I had no choice.  I knew I should have just woken up at 630, but hitting the alarm was such a better idea at the time. I just told myself these little angels will do it I have faith they will be so ready when I get out of here.  I mean I did tell each one of them individually, I made sure they all heard me.  It wasn't hard right.  

WRONG!!  Not only did I get out of the shower, I got dressed, brushed my teeth and did my hair.  It was time to go downstairs and see how great my angels listened to their mama.  OMG all I could do was just stand there at first because I really convinced myself they would look terrific and have their lunches made, have socks and shoes on. NADA All of them were sitting there bare footed, watching Paw Patrol.  Really guys your 10,9, and 6. You all stopped watching that show years ago.  But you pick today you pick the morning we are in a hurry to sit back and watch this show.  If Caillou was allowed in my house they probably would have been watching that. I hate that little brat.  Okay so all in all the girl had socks on.  She sure did, TWO DIFFERENT ONES, which a lot of the times is okay with me whatever works and gets us out the door, but these two were so off the wall different I was like do you need to go to the eye doctor?  

My next question which I already assumed at this point was going to have the answer of no.  I said to them did you jokers make your lunches for me.  OF COURSE NOT, I mean you didn't tell us too.  WHAT!!!!  I went over it like 5 times before I got in the shower, remember one by one I told you all to your faces, just to make sure you all heard me. They even responded OK.  Then I get this If you would have told us to make our lunches we would have but you didn’t.  It sucks when you want to lose your shit but are on a time restraint, so with no time to argue, because I should already be driving them to school, and now I need to stop for lunchables.  The incredibly disgusting, horrible for you, cost way too much lunchable.  I’m sure the lunch moms have labeled me as the lazy mom, but that’s okay with me.  Sometimes lunchables save the day.   On the serious side though, so you all know, we have tons of ham, tons of cheese, and tons of snacks. And I need to stop and get 20.00 worth of lunchables because my little jerks had to watch Paw Patrol.  All in all they got ready and on our way we went.  However, for the next two days they are only going to be allowed to watch Paw Patrol.

LIONS AND KITTENS AND DOGS OH MY

It's that season again, the one where every year I am paranoid we have mice in the house.  We have had a few in the past years and some years we haven't had any.  I got an exterminator he is great, really dedicated to his job.  He comes every 4 months.  I only need him for this season but he is so dedicated he is always showing up.  I'm sure it has nothing to do with that automatic withdrawal that happens when he does show up.  I just tell myself wow the ants aren't that bad this year, it’s totally got to be the exterminator.  So, whatever we let him keep coming.  But anyways because I get so crazy around this time of year always thinking we have a little Jerry roaming free, I came up with a great idea.  Well my daughter sort of came up with it but this is my blog not hers, so I came up with this idea to get a cat.  My husband and I have never had a cat and couldn't bring ourselves to do it at first.  I mean I would go over to other people’s houses who had cats and if that thing came near me I was out the door, no way no how.  My husband just kept insisting he hated them and we were absolutely not getting a cat.  Here is a picture of Piper.

Yup that's right we have a new member of the family.  We got her Friday from a fellow MS warrior.  My husband can say whatever he wants, he fell in love as soon as he held her.  He wouldn't even let me hold her on the car ride home.  My kids are head over heels about her and I just love her to pieces.  We named her Piper after a Phish song.  Phish what the hell is that, honestly you really don't want to know because I wish I didn't.  However, it is a band my husband is OBSESSED with, a very unhealthy unstable sick obsession.  This was part of the deal, if we got a cat her name would be after a Phish song.  Whatever I said as long as we try it out and bring her home.  She is a little thing, only 8 weeks old completely harmless.  That is unless you are an 8-year-old Staffordshire terrier, comparable to a pit bull.  This guy cracks my shit up I mean dude your 60 pounds of pure muscle and could eat the cat in one gulp, not to mention this guy was sleeping outside in his bed last week with a mouse laying next to him. I can't make this crap up. Anyways she tries to go by him and he jumps and scatters faster than me seeing a mouse.  Yesterday she was trying to play with him and he had nowhere to go so this asshole is trying to shove himself under the corner table hoping she won’t get him. 

We feel bad for him but he will catch on eventually.  We keep telling them both that he is the king of this castle.  She seems to get it, but him on the other hand well let’s just say woman are sometimes a little quicker than men.  NO OFFENSE   My husband who cuddles Piper and must constantly check on her insists he just got her to get the mice, so if you ask him that’s what he will tell you.  I have proof of him laying in bed with her, so don't fall for that crap if you see him, or I’m going to post it.  

Another agreement we had was I would be the one to take care of piper.  That’s fine but seriously the litter box my husband got is a joke.  The 3rd time all the litter came pouring out I had to look around to see if Ashton was here punking me.  It has three bins and your suppose to take one out really easily and be able to turn it and put it on the bottom.  WELL it hasn't happened yet not once and she has been here since Friday.  You know if you don't have enough shit to do around the house, go out and get a fricking cat.  I mean it makes perfect sense to me.  I do know much but I do know that Jerry is going to be one pissed off mouse when he finds out who moved in. So now everyone knows my husband and I are cat people.  We love our little piper.

They Make My Heart so Happy

On Tuesday I had my infusion, that I get every month to help keep the progression of my MS at bay.  Since then I have felt like shit.  I have been getting infusions for a year now and haven't felt like this in months.  Now I feel like I got hit by a bus.  So today I slept pretty much all day, so I didn't get to unloading and loading the dishwasher until the kids got home from school.  My middle child you know the maniac in the morning, really has the biggest heart, if he loves you he really loves you and you are lucky to have his love.  He is really going to make some girl happy after he turns 30.  Back to the dishwasher, he saw I was struggling and came over and asked if he could do it for me, I told him no to eat something before football.  Instead he stood there and handed me the lower rack because bending over was unbearable.  These are moments I will never forget.  Not only did I get lucky with this guy his older brother got home from school and noticed I wasn't feeling good either.  Clearly, I suck at hiding it.  Maybe I shouldn’t moan and groan so much.  I asked him if he wanted me to make him something to eat before he went to football and he said Mom no you go sit down and rest I can handle it.  I mean who gets this lucky especially twice in one day. 

Now my girl on the other hand holy moly, all I did was ask her to pick up her crap in the living room and put it in her room.  The screaming and yelling I am sure my neighbors were wondering if they should call the cops.  I mean I didn't put that shit there, and I sure as hell am not picking it up.  It literally took her one trip to take it upstairs.  It's not like I was asking her to scrub dub up our tub and get down on her hands and knees and wash the floor.  I only make her do that when she dresses up like Annie.  And yes she refuses to wear shirts around the house, another battle I just choose not to fight.  All in all, they are good little monsters.  Of course, they have their days where you just want them to go play in traffic, but I bet they wish I would go play in traffic too. 

 I am sure everyone says they have the best kids but for real I of course think mine take the cake.  The two older boys have really done so well with my diagnosis of this disease, the little one is still too little to understand, but they have been through a lot these past years with my hospital stays and so much resting.  They have adjusted so well.  The best part about it is I have always taught them to be kind and treat others with kindness and respect, and I think they are nailing it.  I am probably going to say this a lot like a broken record but they make my heart so proud, and no matter how many times they are assholes I will never love them any less.  With my husbands and my past, I know we are probably going to get hit with some heavy heavy heavy heavy payback when they are teens.  Payback is a bitch our parents love to tell us.  But I'm sure it’s nothing some boxing gloves can’t take care of.  I should have known from that day this picture was taken below little miss was going to be trouble.  I hope you enjoyed and will share with your friends.

Vitamins are Key

I hope everyone is having a great weekend.  The weather here in the Chicago area is beautiful.  I wanted to write about something that is so important to me as a patient who has MS.  Every night I have a ritual of taking vitamins, a lot of vitamins.  When I first started taking them I hated it, I would constantly forget.  I felt like what’s the point they aren't working.  Little did I know they totally were.  After taking them for a month straight, I wanted to see if it affected me at all if I skipped a few days.  I could completely notice a difference.  I felt weaker and less energized.  I use to take naps every day, and I can honestly say if I have taken my vitamins the night before I don't need a nap.  I take a total of 13 pills, I know a lot right.  It’s crazy how many I shove in my fat face and swallow.  All at once you ask, you know it!!  Here is a pic of how many bottles minus 1, the probiotic because I need more, but seriously it’s crazy.

I have always tried to give my kids vitamins but just like with myself there were so many days forgotten.  Who's got time for that shite?

So now that they have helped me so much, I make sure my kids get their vitamins every day.  They get a multi vitamin and a probiotic.  Some days they take them like they are candy other days their complaining makes me wish I could just shove it down their throats.  It’s like did you not just have these yesterday and you loved it?  But I hate orangggeee.   So, what do I say in my stern mama voice GET OVER IT!!  Please leave a comment on what you think.

Summer is Over

Labor Day weekend has come and gone, it is official that summer has once again ended.  This year is a HUGE year for this mama.  My kids are finally old enough to walk to school.  Not being a morning person, this is kind of a big deal for me.  The mornings are always so rough around here three of us hate them and my oldest son just gets up gets his shit done and doesn't say a word.  Now those other two WHOA you would think I'm stabbing them every morning.  My son literally turns into the exorcist.  He turns all red starts yelling which makes him foam at the mouth and I swear sometimes his head spins.  I mean he is 9 it’s not like this is new for him, he is now in fourth grade and has been in school since he was 3.  It’s like come on man you know what’s going to happen at 7am can we pleassssse just get through it without the devil act for 20 min.  After he calms down it’s like someone popped him a Xanax.  I swear I don't although I wouldn't mind popping one.  He slowly walks around in circles looking for his uniform which is usually in the same two spots, on the floor or on his dresser. 

The socks ahhhh I can't tell you how many times I have to tell this child you need to put socks on, hey buddy you have those socks on yet, um dude looks like you need to find some socks, it finally turns into PUT THE DAMN SOCKS ON, of course as nicely as possible 😏.  Those are my boys, now my girl, she is a whole other story.  Does she act like I'm stabbing her yes, does she scream and kick and spit the same way the other maniac does, no.  She just refuses to get out of the bed.  It's like pulling teeth to get this girl out of the bed.  So, once I do I send her downstairs to get dressed, does it ever happen that way.  Hell No I always come down to her just sitting sucking her thumb with her blanket watching T.V. 

Yes, she is six and still sucks her thumb, we have been working on it for 4 years now.  I know I know the dentist doesn't fail to tell me EVERY TIME we go how this is going to mean braces soon.  As far as I'm concerned, the damage is already done so why oh why battle with that shit every day, I tried I mean I really tried and it’s like a train derailment.  The battle of screaming and crying is just not worth it anymore.  I'd rather be in the poor house of braces. 

 Oh, and since we are on the teeth subject, I can't help but be the worse mom ever because I expect them to brush their teeth every morning.  All 3 of them give me nothing but grief about this.  They even try to lie to me about it, like I was born last night.  You have been down here the whole morning and haven't even gone upstairs since you woke up but you brushed your teeth get real.  So now I am at the point where I send them up one by one put the TV on mute and yell I don't hear any brushing going on, you know because of my MS and my horrible eyesight, I now have superhuman powers when it comes to hearing. HA!  Well because that is bullshit I now make them come into the hallway to show me they are brushing, and they all have to gargle really loud.  Crazy you might think yea so do I but for now it works. 

           So now I sit and relax for a little while before cleaning, because as fun as that shit show I just explained is, it’s exhausting.  I am not sure if it’s because of my MS or if all moms feel this way after their monsters leave, but for me I need at least a half hour of some TV to get ready for the rest of my day.  I can't even imagine having to do all of this and go to work right after.  Those mamas are tough and I do not envy them at all. So that is my story for today and I'm sticking to it.  Once again please leave a comment and let me know what you think of my blogs, criticism or compliments give it to me straight

Lesson Learned (Never clean on Fridays!)

I cannot tell you how many times I have done this to myself.  I do it over and over and wake up on Monday thinking what the hell happened here.  My house was immaculate Friday by early afternoon, then it happened.  Moe, Larry, and Susie came home from school.  It all happened so fast, I mean I don't think I was in the bathroom that long but holy shit, you would have thought a tornado whipped through my living room while I popped a squat.  Shoes everywhere, uniforms just thrown where ever, socks, lunchboxes all of it.  I mean did they plan this.  Let's wait till she goes to the bathroom and bomb the place.  So of course, after losing my shit all was clean again.  THEN it happened I woke up today (after a super busy sports weekend) and it was like my house threw up.  I mean the dishes in the sink, how do 5 people, 3 being little, gather up so many dirty dishes.  Why or why can't anyone (husband included, also known for being worse than the kids) walk 2 steps and throw their dirty clothes downstairs.  I mean I'm not even asking you to put them in the laundry room just throw them down the stupid stairs.  And the dirtiest room in the house award goes to my little princess.  Princess my ass, I didn't even know she had so many toys, I couldn't even walk in her room.  She is only 6 how can something so little make something so messy.  Being a mom with Multiple Sclerosis doesn't stop the insanity of a dirty house.  They are mine though and I love them all. So, with all the holes in my brain I just put an x on the calendar for Mondays, so I remember I will be spending the day cleaning my disastrous house.   And if any of you have any tricks to keeping things together please comment and let me know your secrets.  

Back to school

On Wednesday, my kids went back to school, woo hoooo (Just Kidding, kind of).  At first, I thought I was going to miss them, I mean they were my entertainment for three whole months and I do love them.  With having multiple sclerosis, I don't have a job, or a real job as some would say. (Morons without kids obviously).  But anyways the big day arrived and being on vacation the weekend before we didn't get a chance to pick up the supply kits we ordered.  Like an idiot I thought this would be the easiest way to get all their supplies without going to Target.  So, when the day came my husband had to rush up to the school and grab these three big boxes filled with supplies.  All the supplies you ask, NOPE, it was horrible here we are at 7:30 in the morning rushing to get these supplies into their book bags, and we don't even have everything.  It was a mess.  Thank goodness, I had pop tarts to throw at the kids while they walked out the door.                                                   

 Every year I tell myself I am going to get up extra early and make them a healthy delicious breakfast, with some fresh squeezed orange juice.  Hahaha yea right, the closest I have gotten is microwaveable pancakes with an applesauce squeezee and orange kool aid.  At least they eat something right??  Back to the thinking I was going to miss them part, they were only gone for a half day.  By the time they got home I was already back to my mommy alone time regime.  I didn't think about any of them the whole time they were gone.  Bad Mom you say, mama got a nap I say, and that's what matters.  The next day they had a whole day, sure I had to make a few sandwiches so they didn't starve but did the thought of, was I going to miss them cross my mind.  HECK NO!  They sure are cute though!