Can I just take a shower ALONE!!!

Sorry everyone I haven't blogged in a while, was a little under the weather, but much better now. Here is today's crazy ass story. A long time ago I gave up on taking a shower.  Just kidding but I did give up taking showers when my children or husband were around. Boy oh boy was I reminded why I stopped this morning.  For Pete's sake can a girl get a few minutes to herself in a nice foggy, and warm shower to clean herself, without any interruptions.  Clearly the answer is no. First it started before I even got in the shower, I didn't even have my shirt of yet and I hear.  Mom I need to go to the bathroom.  My reply was of course, go downstairs and use your fathers’ bathroom.  Ewwww no way it’s disgusting.  I couldn't argue with that; the kid was right, he probably would have caught some crazy disease down there.  I love my husband to death but he is the biggest slob I have ever met.  Am I the only one dealing with this?  Lucky for me the kid went away and into the shower I went for a nice relaxing warm, and foggy shower.  PSSHHHH Yea Right!!!!  As soon as the water hit me I feel this cold rush of air come in the bathroom.  Mom I told you I had to pee.  Ughh I hoped you went downstairs in dad’s bathroom.  No way as I was reminded again how disgusting that bathroom is. 

 Hmmm maybe I should clean my husbands bathroom for him, that would be so nice of me.  Ha that went out of my thoughts faster than it went in. See I'm not that nice of a person there is absolutely no reason to start now.  I think if I'm going to start somewhere along those lines I would rather fix the sheet on his side of the bed for him so he didn't have to.  Anyways after my middle son came into the bathroom and let all the steam out and cold air in then the older son, then my daughter.  Not only did she come in once, not twice but three fricking times THREE!!!!  I need to go to the bathroom, I can't find my jumper, I can't find my shoes.  SERIOUSLY girl you’re a hot mess get your shit together and get the hell out of here and lock the door on your way out.  

I had a doctor’s appointment to go to straight after I dropped the kids off at school.  I tell them all, you are on your own this morning.  I knew I would regret this decision the minute I said it, but I had no choice.  I knew I should have just woken up at 630, but hitting the alarm was such a better idea at the time. I just told myself these little angels will do it I have faith they will be so ready when I get out of here.  I mean I did tell each one of them individually, I made sure they all heard me.  It wasn't hard right.  

WRONG!!  Not only did I get out of the shower, I got dressed, brushed my teeth and did my hair.  It was time to go downstairs and see how great my angels listened to their mama.  OMG all I could do was just stand there at first because I really convinced myself they would look terrific and have their lunches made, have socks and shoes on. NADA All of them were sitting there bare footed, watching Paw Patrol.  Really guys your 10,9, and 6. You all stopped watching that show years ago.  But you pick today you pick the morning we are in a hurry to sit back and watch this show.  If Caillou was allowed in my house they probably would have been watching that. I hate that little brat.  Okay so all in all the girl had socks on.  She sure did, TWO DIFFERENT ONES, which a lot of the times is okay with me whatever works and gets us out the door, but these two were so off the wall different I was like do you need to go to the eye doctor?  

My next question which I already assumed at this point was going to have the answer of no.  I said to them did you jokers make your lunches for me.  OF COURSE NOT, I mean you didn't tell us too.  WHAT!!!!  I went over it like 5 times before I got in the shower, remember one by one I told you all to your faces, just to make sure you all heard me. They even responded OK.  Then I get this If you would have told us to make our lunches we would have but you didn’t.  It sucks when you want to lose your shit but are on a time restraint, so with no time to argue, because I should already be driving them to school, and now I need to stop for lunchables.  The incredibly disgusting, horrible for you, cost way too much lunchable.  I’m sure the lunch moms have labeled me as the lazy mom, but that’s okay with me.  Sometimes lunchables save the day.   On the serious side though, so you all know, we have tons of ham, tons of cheese, and tons of snacks. And I need to stop and get 20.00 worth of lunchables because my little jerks had to watch Paw Patrol.  All in all they got ready and on our way we went.  However, for the next two days they are only going to be allowed to watch Paw Patrol.